(can't think of a title... part 5)

Sorry for the long wait… Was BZ with baby Jae (as usual… Nothing new… keke)

So, erm… Right, The self fulfilling prophecy, this statement also alters how one behaves towards another person. In a similar way, (for example,) person A might have an idea that Person B dislikes him, therefore interact with person B in a hostile manner. While B might not genuinely abominate person A, but due to A’s unfriendliness, B reacted in a similar way, thus proving A’s assumption.

This theory is not difficult to understand… Well, if I think u don’t like me, why should I give a damm about U right??

So let us now link the 2 theories, (do u see light now??? Feel enlightened??? Haha…) Well maybe, just maybe, that my 1st impression evaluation was inaccurate, maybe, just maybe, because of the self fulfilling prophecy, I didn’t behave in a way I should… Maybe, everything was just a big misunderstanding…. (Well, of cos I hope so too lar, but hor… I dun noe… lets just keep it as maybe….)

So let me now share with U guys what comes after….

Hmmm… recall, recall….

CNY eve, dun remember which year, (Still not married)… So I tried again…
I even made yu sheng, prepared it nicely, told myself… Be nice, be nice, for the sake of my dodo…
Reached there, everything was alright, little conversation, (but I guess no conversation means no conflict…) Time to eat, everyone sitting around the table, except for some important person, Mr. little bro…. Well ppl let me ask u hor, pardon me if I’m wrong, erm… but what’s the whole point of having a reunion dinner? To have dinner TOGETHER right?? Ok fine! I’m not part of the family yet, but then at that point in time I’m still a guest right, so shouldn’t someone show some manners by just getting his butt out, sit at the table and eat something???... He had to be asked and asked to come out of the room… Guess what important thing he was doing?? Playing on the play station that I bought for my dodo… (its like double angry lor…) But then I still behave like nothing wrong lor...
I was so angry, I was prepared to walk into the room and “ask” him personally to join us for dinner. I was so prepared to show my nasty self…. But then, I told myself.. Tahan… Tahan….

So what did I do? : Just smile and ate…
Lesson learnt: Never make Yu Sheng U noe U won’t get to eat…

So when U think I’ve only got problems with bro, sis joins in the fun….
It was the meet the parents dinner, a get to know each other’s parents and the declaring that we will be tying the knot… Dinner at some seafood restaurant at east coast. Actually only my mummy was with me, and his whole entire family was there (ok, that’s not the point)… So right after dodo said “blar blar blar next V Day” which was in a couple of months, I get dear sis saying… “Oh, so U guys are getting married next V Day ar???” (in a very surprised, unbelievable, disapproving manner…) And I was like… Need to ask until like that or not… Didn’t ur brother just told u that?? (ok I was kinda upset lor…) But my dodo just when “Yah” still smiling…
Maybe I was being too sensitive, maybe I was just misreading the signs… maybe…

2nd incident..
His dad had to fly overseas for some business thingy, so I followed dodo along, (he asked if I wanna go, so not to disappoint him, I went, bringing Bryan along…) So, with Bryan, I had to sit behind… Hmm… how to explain leh… ok… So we reached their block downstairs, sis was already there, but dun noe dad was doing wat, so we were waiting for him (no prob with waiting…) While waiting for dad, sis sat in the front seat… (no prob with that too….) In normal circumstances, if my dodo is sending his dad, he should be driving right? dad should sit infront, and sis should sit behind with me and Bryan right?? But NO! Even after being asked by my dodo several times for her to sit behind, she refused to… So in the end, his dad had to drive himself to the airport, with his daughter sitting beside him and dodo sitting with me… Erm… so now I have some infectious disease is it???

So wat did I do? : Nothing…
Lesson learnt: Dun bring Bryan along…

To Be continued...

To Aunty sand...

Aunty Sand... I show U my smile.. Next time I'll show u my teeth too... And stop saying that I'm old... keke...

(can't think of a title...pic break)

Ok Now I'm Pissed...

Looking at stuff from a different angle, sure is tuff!!

(can't think of a title...part 4)

So I did my 3 seconds thingy, actually I tried my best not to come to a conclusion just in 3 seconds… If not, why would I agree to go on the 2nd Occasion, and the next, and the next, and the…

Although most of the time I did nothing, said nothing but there were tons and tons going tru’ my mind…

Scene 1…
Har?!! Ps lor, he's ur son, why dun U go tell him urself??? And what do U mean by; he is someone of status (exact words: got head got face de ren, only that he said it in mandarin), unlike us. When U say unlike us, who are U referring to?!!! Just U guys, or including me? If it’s including me, then excuse me sir, if you need glasses, ps go and get some, cos if u can't see properly, I’m not some headless or faceless creature!!!

Just to be clear…, I did not going out with him because of his profession, It’s not that big of a deal…. To me (I dare to say, not only me), the hospital cannot operate without ppl from my profession either…

Scene 2…
I guess no need to explain further lar…

Scene 3…
Erm… lets just say, Ps dun be too keen to think that everything is about U, there are other human being existing in this world too….

From all this thoughts and feelings, I dun think it's difficult to tell U that my 1st impression towards them is erm…. (whatever U want to think…).

Once a judgment is made, it molds U, it gears you to behave in a way that is accordance to your judgment…

The self-fulfilling prophecy

The self-fulfilling prophecy is a statement that alters actions and therefore comes true. For example, a person stating “I’m probably going to have a lousy day,” might alter his actions so that such a prediction is fulfilled by his actions. This may be an unconscious gesture. A person who might espouse a self-fulfilling prophecy in a positive way “I’m going to have a great day,” might act in ways that will actually make this prediction true.

The self-fulfilling prophecy actually predates its name. Early examples of the self-fulfilling prophecy are the Greek myths surrounding Oedipus. Oedipus fulfills the oracle’s prophecy that he will kill his father and marry his mother, by striving to avoid the prophecy. This can be called a self-fulfilling prophecy because it is Oedipus’ actions that make the prophecy true.
Robert Merton, a 20th century sociologist, actually coined the term of self-fulfilling prophecy. In his definition, in the book Social Theory and Social Structure published in 1949, the prophecy or prediction is false but is made true by a person’s actions. In the modern sense the prophecy has neither false nor true value, but is merely a possibility that is made into probability by a person’s unconscious or conscious actions.

Examples of the modern self-fulfilling prophecy abound in literature. For example, the Harry Potter series finale now revolves around Lord Voldemort hearing a partial version of a prophecy that he then made true by attacking Harry. In the attack, which failed, Voldemort transferred some of his powers to Harry, making the two equal, with an equal outcome when they face each other and battle to the death.

While the modern self-fulfilling prophecy echoes the past, most would agree that the normal use of the term translates to attitude about events to come. While one’s attitude cannot necessarily influence the larger things, such as a hurricane or the possibility of an earthquake, one’s attitude can influence the smaller things, like the way we relate to other people and their responses to us.
Additionally, interpretations of things like "good" and "bad" tend to be weighted by one’s expectations. The person, who is going to have a bad day for example, might miss the bus because he is grumbling about the evil portents for the day. He might seem negative or depressed at work, which might fuel nasty responses from co-workers. As the day gets worse, the person may then return home to fighting children, an unmade dinner or a fight with a spouse. All things will be interpreted in a negative light.

Conversely, the person who is going to have a good day, might miss the bus, but then get a ride from a friend, in which a useful conversation takes place. Even if a co-worker seems nasty, the person might negotiate the situation to come to a healthy resolution. If the children are fighting at home, this might be an opportunity to use one’s parenting skills, and an uncooked dinner might mean a chance to get one’s favorite pizza. The positive self-fulfilling prophecy allows one to shift interpretation of events.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-self-fulfilling-prophecy.htm

To be continued…

(can't think of a title... pic break)

When U guys are putting on ur thinking cap, I'm putting on my drinking cap....

Enjoy reading....!!

(can't think of a title... part 3)

Now, before I continue, U guys must be wondering why am I sharing all this…
Lets just simply say 1st impressions –

Do You Make Your First Impression Your Best Impression?

Within the first three seconds of a new encounter, you are evaluated… even if it is just a glance.
People appraise your visual and behavioral appearance from head to toe. They observe your demeanor, mannerisms, and body language and even assess your grooming and accessories – watch, handbag, briefcase. Within only three seconds, you make an indelible impression. You may intrigue some and disenchant others.

This first impression process occurs in every new situation. Within the first few seconds, people pass judgment on you – looking for common surface clues. Once the first impression is made, it is virtually irreversible.

The process works like this:

• If you appear to be of comparable business or social level, you are considered suitable for further interaction.

• If you appear to be of higher business or social status, you are admired and cultivated as a valuable contact.

• If you appear to be of lower business or social standing, you are tolerated but kept at arm's length.

• If you are in an interview situation, you can either appear to match the corporate culture or not, ultimately affecting the outcome.

It is human nature to constantly make these appraisals, in business and social environments. You may hardly have said a word, however once this three-second evaluation is over, the content of your speech will not change it. When you make the best possible first impression, you have your audience in the palm of your hand. When you make a poor first impression, you lose your audience’s attention, no matter how hard you scramble to recover it.

No, I not so chim, come up with all this… If you would like to further understand this topic ps visit : http://entrepreneurs.about.com

3 sec is all one needs to determine if one is going to like another, take some time to contemplate about this… 3 seconds… Like what I have mentioned, everyone judges, this is not something I claim; it is a matter of fact, human nature… And now we’ve learnt, we only take a mere 3 seconds to derive a judgment…

To be continued...

(can't think of a title... part 2)

Before I continue…. Ps take note:

This series of (can’t think of a title) is intended for a group of friends trying to better understand each other…

So if you are a “passer-by” a.k.a someone who dun know head, dun noe tail about our situation, Ps read this series like a story book…

To all, Ps have an open mind to what you are reading… Ps dun jump into any conclusion before finishing the entire series… I sincerely urge you to complete the series before making any comments…

For the benefit of those who did not get to read this:

“Yes I judge, I’m like U too, I’m no saint, I’m just a humble human being that has abundance emotions that I cannot control…
Everyone judges, I do not think that there is anyone in this world that doesn’t. When you wrote, “she has no right to judge a person too!” Aren’t U judging her? I’m not arguing who’s right or wrong, all I’m saying is that whether one likes it or not, claims he/she does it or not, everyone judges, it’s a natural thing… It’s the consequences that is of importance… It’s doesn’t matter if one judge correctly or not, what matters is how it affects someone, how it affects one’s behavior after the judgment…”

“Everyone has a right to like or dislike someone, we can all dispute till the cows come home that if it is right to show it… There is no right or wrong answer…”

“Yes, a blog is a place for one to grumble, to express one’s feeling freely… I too own a blog… But please do understand that by writing a blog, one is allowing others to know how he/she feels, and at the same time allowing others to form their own opinions about each entry…
Like it is a freedom for one to write, it’s also a freedom for the reader to have assessment to what he/she is reading…
A blog is not private, anyone can gain assess to it, unless that assess is taken away by the owner…
I enter each blog entry knowing that someone is reading it, I write about happy things, sad things, feelings, thoughts, anything under the sun, but most importantly knowing someone is reading it… Why insert pictures to blog? We insert pics to share… A blog is a place of sharing, to people one may or may not intend to… But when it is on a blog, it is no longer private…
Words… The same words can mean so many things… Communication does not only involve saying something, it’s also the way one says it, the tone of voice, the volume…
When one is writing, one uses only words… But pure words can mean different things to different ppl… “I Hate U!” Said in an angry tone means so much different when one says it in a joking manner… Words on a computer screen now depends purely on how the reader interprets it, it becomes very subjective… And misunderstanding do occur…”

Must clarify and clarify, if not later I get bombed until like no body’s business….

To be continued….

(Can't think of a title... part 1)

Haven had time to blog for a while…. No, Grey’s Anatomy wasn’t the culprit…

Baby Jae, had been demanding a lot of attention lately, hmmm… I guess he can sense that mummy will be going back to work soon… Well that’s what I’ve been telling him every night, telling him that he needs to be a good boy, so that great-grams won’t be to worn out taking care of him…

Trying to work out some people relationship thingy too… All started with a blog entry… Big hoo haa… But I must say I admire this person that wrote so dauntlessly… Before I continue, I 1st need to clarify…

The contents of this series is purely my sentiment… Not intended to provoke, castigate or agonize anyone. Most importantly I’m not asking for commiseration, neither am I self-pitying.

Why do I commend this person? (Well some of my closest friends would be cursing and swearing at me, if by this time our ordeal had not been settled… Ps dun, I love U all…)
She has the courage to audaciously make animadversion on her BF’s family.
After reading her blog, I can’t help but think about my own issues…

Let’s see, when did it all begin… Ok, got it…
I remembered vaguely it was a dinner with the parents and brother at Taka, at that point, we were not married… After dinner, brother needs to go ATM, so we went, darling and I was walking in-front, I guess being a new couple, he got carried away, he was tickling me on the way from the restaurant to the ATM… And guess what… When parents and I were alone waiting for both brother and darling to attend to their banking needs, I get this “you need to discipline him, sometimes he gets out of hand, doesn’t behave the way he should, HE IS SOMEONE WITH STATUS U KNOW, NOT LIKE US.” How should one feel if this was said to him/her? (well I was pissed…)

What did I do?? Smile and nodded…
Lesson learnt: Dun go to ATM after dinner….

Then there was this time, Dim sum at a “long-established” restaurant (well actually I wanted to say erm… not so high class place lar, but then ppl will think that I feel tat I’m very high class, only dine at expensive places, which I DUN!!) Why do I have to specify “long-establish” read on, U’ll understand…
So we’re at this restaurant, parents, bro and bro’s GF. Sat down at the table, Teapot, glasses, plates, chopsticks, spoons, all in front of me… So if U were me, wat would u do? Pour tea into glasses and distribute to everyone lar! (Well at least to me that’s the right and polite thing to do, since everything is right in front of me right?…) So I picked up the tea pot and attempted to pour…. Guess what I got??? A hand almost covering the spout of the teapot preventing me to do so… That hand then took over the teapot, using the tea to rinse everything in front of me, all these actions happened without any verbal communication, and no eye contact… Erm… pardon me but hor, places that I go for Dim Sum, (except for Malaysia), the above actions are not required!!! Ps lor, this is SIN JIA PO lor… How the hell would I know I need too do that… OK, so I was ignorant, but U could at least open your mouth, use verbal communicating to ENLIGHTEN me….

So what did I do??? Nothing…
Lesson learnt: Never go to places to have Dim Sum, other then the ones you had with Susan…

Then this, after listening to a friend working so hard to make ends meet, and her son not doing anything to help out, I got angry and vented on my friendster’s profile… And what did I get?? One will be thinking that my friend’s son will come after me right?? WRONG!! Instead I get “dear old bro” SMSing funny msg to my dodo… Saying stuff like “give me back my phone bills”, “trying hard to make something out of something”, ‘at this point in time not possible but will try very hard to make U proud or something’, (Dun remember liao lar) All I can remember is wat comes after, those funny SMSes scared the hell out of my dodo, he was post call.. But he set off driving from one end of the country to the other end looking for bro. Cos he refuses to reply to his SMSes and refuses to pick up his calls… Dodo was so worried that bro would volunteer himself to some 3rd world country to fight the war, in order to get more $$$$..... Sounds so drama right, sorry hor, it happened… So finally dodo got hold of him on the phone, asked him wat happened and when he told him that the remark was intended for my friend’s son, guess what was his story… “Someone from my camp saw her profile… Now they are all talking bad about u, saying that U are incapable of supporting my education expenses….” WHa… Now he is protecting his big bro… Accusing me of making a bad name for my dodo.. how low, how childish…
Erm, excuse me, 1st things 1st, His camp ppl doesn’t know dodo… So how can they know me? (the rest of it I dun think I need to explain more…) When dodo and I talked about this incident recently, he accidentally said “not possible, his camp ppl dun noe me”
Well I guess at that point when I asked him wat actually happened, he sounded like he believed his bro’s story 100%, was just to not make matters worst…

So wat I did I do at the time I was accused?? Got angry with my dodo of cos!!… For being so gullible….
Lesson learnt: If U wanna come up with some story to cover up, ps come up with one that makes sense….

To Be continued……

He's smiling and cooing now...

My dear baby Jae, has learnt how to smile more often and coo (Baby talk)... He loves to do it with my daddy, hmmm... makes me a little jealous... whenever my dad carries him or talks to him, he always smile... I think even do do is a little jealous too... haha...

Went to malaysia yesterday, baby Jae's 1st trip out of the country, was sitting in his car sit infront, in between my dad and me, everytime there's a red light my dad will turn to him and baby talk him then he'll smlie and talk back... so cute... so sweet...

Was introduced to this autentic Japanese buffet resturant @ Sun tec recently by my crazy sister and cousins... Checked it out and it was really GOODDDDD...... Even my do do is hooked... Alaska snow crabs... The freshest raw salmon, Seafood.... Paper steamboat.... and the list goes on and on.... Pure indulgence for japanese food lovers.... and the crabs... heavens!

Just for an update... My carefree days will be over soon... Will be starting work officially on 2nd or May... So goodbye to my cross stiching, sleep @ 3am and wake up @ 1pm days....

My cross stiching... Still a long long way to complete...

My baby Jae, finally smiling at the camera...

And this, never failed to light up my day...

This is him with his dummy... he ar very silly one can never keep it in his mouth, need to hold for him...

The last days of March 2007..

I've not been blogging... Ha Ha.. was too BZ having my eyes stuck to the TV, watching Greys anatomy, 1st was season 2, was surfing the net, and there's always missing episodes... So I went and rent the whole DVD collection... I had to pay a deposit of 84 bucks!! But then it only cost me $16 to watch it lar... Was spending so much time on the TV that my DO DO had to drag me to bed... Keke I guess I still a TV addict...

Was back at my mum's place last SAT, Grandmas birthday... All her friends came erm.. all her singing KAKIs, i mean... Was asked to play MAjong with my Aunties, Can't concentrate with all the noise lor, I think the whole of woodlands can hear them... Luckily, My Uncle came and took over me... Brought my DVDs over to my mum's place too, so Charles saw them, he said "if u think season 2 is good, season 3 is even better.." He watched it from the net.. So thats wat I did for the last few days.. I had 2 comps running haha... so by the time I finished 1 episode, the next one will have finished loading on the other comp...!!!! SO CLever right... HAHAHAHAHAHA.....